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Looking inward for healing
RUMFORD- Jennie Nisbet watched six family members pass away in six years from cancer, including her mom. Scared for her own life, she underwent genetic testing and discovered that she carries the gene that makes her have a high probability of being diagnosed, as well.
“It was really hard news to take, especially after losing mom,” stated Jennie through tears. “If I could take back the finding out part, I would in a second.”
Jennie merely existed over the next few years, battling severe depression, preparing herself to be sick, not allowing anyone to get close for fear of having to say good-bye. She wasn’t able to be there for her son who had just lost his gram, she was isolating herself and was far from being present in everyday life. Her relationship fell apart after three years of dark depression.
“Only a few people close to me knew what was up, but anyone else who saw me on the street or at work didn’t realize. I faced everything with a smile, but inside I was being torn apart.”
Jennie finally saw the beginning of her healing come in 2012, when Laurie Xanthos called her one day and told her that she was being led by the spirit of her mom to contact her.
“The spirits were definitely at work that day,” stated Jennie.
“Over the last year it’s been a whole new life for me. My brother, Denis, and his girlfriend, Angie, always say they wished I had found healing sooner. I have to remind them that it wouldn’t have been the right time. They’ve been my support system. I love them so much.”
Jennie has incorporated meditation, a practice called spiritual cord cutting, and other practices that help clear the head of self defeating talk. “I am learning to redirect my path, understand who I want to be and what doesn’t serve me anymore, I’m learning to let it all go.”
Jennie is a Reiki III practitioner, and attributes this centering exercise to be a proactive way to fight cancer. “People really need to learn and understand that any negative feelings are detrimental to their health and if they don’t serve you, they need to let them go.”
Taking an active role in Shamanism has also helped Jennie become more in tune with nature. “I’ve always seen nature as a way of healing,” stated Jennie. “But to really understand the connection of plants, animals and their healing properties, it’s been eye opening.”
Jennie has met many people who have experienced self healing through various activities such as showing and giving gratitude for everything; including foods you eat, plants you sacrifice, and for the little things in your life. “There is always something worse out there that you could be experiencing,” stated Jennie.
Jennie still battles depression, but takes joy in her watching her sons grow, painting, walking, and crafts. She finds her creative juices begin to flow when she gets outside, so she spends a lot of time out walking, spending time at her family camp on Worthley Pond where she feels close to her mom. Her brother, Denis, is normally there, too, so they get time together, as well.
“I still wake up and have to really push myself to get up and go. It’s getting easier and I have a great support system. I have three or four friends who I know would drop anything for me. The best thing is not having to tell them, they just know. I love them for that.”
Jennie attends The Healing Center at the Gregory Inn a couple times a week and noted that there are many people there to help.
As for preventative measures, Jennie has to undergo a colonoscopy yearly, causing her a great deal of stress. She also has to have kidney and bladder ultrasounds; all which should have started when she was 25, but didn’t begin until she was 36, and will have to continue for the rest of her life.
“Laurie has been a great help,” stated Jennie. “I’m grateful every single day for my health.”
Jennie keeps her mind set to positive and works hard to not allow negativity to consume her. She takes several classes to help her learn more about preventative foods and other natural ways of being well and stays in tune with those things that will help her remain well.
“There are many like minded people at church and it helps me feel better. There’s so much good energy there.”
Jennie stated that chemotherapy and radiation are not options for her if she were ever to be diagnosed. “I’ve watched cancer and traditional treatments take the quality of life from too many family members. They were far from enjoying their last days. I want my quality of life and hope that I’m hiking a mountain the day before I die. I want my quality of life till the end.”
When asked what she would say to anyone else who is struggling with depression, Jennie stated, “The only person that has control over how you feel is you. If you are sick emotionally or physically, only you can do something about it. And you can do something about it. By choosing not to make positive changes in your life, you are choosing to be sick. If you think, ‘I am tired of being sick,’ you are confirming that you are sick and tired. Every thought has an affect on our body. You must manage your reactions to outside influences and keep your thoughts positive. All of your thoughts and self talk are being sent to the universe and will be projected back to you. Attitude is everything.”